Carol Osterhout Eckerman

Carol Osterhout Eckerman, 82, passed away peacefully on Friday, March 8, 2024, after a brief battle with cancer.

Carol was born in Jamaica, NY, the first child of Doris Russell and William McKee Osterhout.  The family moved often before settling in Clinton, NY for Carol’s high school years.  After graduating from the College of Wooster in OH, Carol received a Ph.D. in Experimental Psychology from Columbia University in New York City, where she researched learning processes in pigeons akin to those she had studied at Wooster in human adults.

In 1963 she married a fellow graduate student, David Alan Eckerman, and moved in 1966 to Chapel Hill, NC for David to begin his career as a professor of psychology at UNC.  There Carol worked as a Research Associate with Harriet Rheingold on studies of human infants’ social and exploratory behavior.   Their work together led Carol to change the focus of her long-held passion to understand changes in behavior from learning processes to early human development, a focus that held throughout her 34 years as a professor of development psychology at Duke University.   Rearing a son and daughter with David further enhanced her curiosity about and delight in early development.   Her studies of early social and communicative development led to cross-cultural efforts with colleagues in Brazil, Norway, and Papua New Guinea; those on the development of very-prematurely-born infants, to collaborative research with nearby neonatologists and neuroscientists.

In her fifties, Carol discovered herself upon a contemplative spiritual path and soon found others seeking her out for spiritual companioning.  In 2001 she completed training as a spiritual director at the Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation in Washington DC.  Retiring from Duke in 2006 led her to expand her activities as a spiritual director, offer contemplative retreats and courses, serve on Shalem’s Board of Directors, and publish “Lessons in Simply Being” – the story of her spiritual journey amidst divorce from David and the companioning of her mother through dementia and dying.  Moving to the Carol Woods Retirement Community in 2013 offered further opportunities for her to walk beside others in their cognitive aging and dying.

From early childhood, Carol felt a kinship with the natural world.  In later years, she reveled in experiencing more of nature’s variety, and that of its human inhabitants, through travel throughout the western USA and visits to Norway, Brazil, Belize, Guatemala, Peru, Finland, China, and India.  She also reengaged her childhood love of making music with others.  Taking up her flute again in her fifties, she played regularly with a pianist friend with whom she offered house concerts.  At Carol Woods, she became a founding member of the Filigree Flute Trio that offered concerts within her new home.

Carol is survived by her son, Brett Eckerman (wife, Ellie Grubbs); daughter, Lisa Petruski (husband, Aaron); grandsons, Isaac and Noah Petruski; her brother, William Osterhout; and cousin, Russell Allen.  Family members and Carol’s many colleagues, students, and friends enjoy recounting stories about their adventures with her, her ready laughter, her curiosity about and delight in life, and how they companioned one another through both life’s joys and struggles.

Carol was interred in a green burial within the woods at the Bluestem Conservation Cemetery.  A celebration of Carol's life will be held at 2 PM on Friday, April 26, 2024 at Carol Woods Retirement Community.

Gifts in Carol’s memory may be sent to the Salem Institute for Spiritual Formation (Shalem.org) or the Carol Woods Resident Assistance Fund (carolwoods.org).